Steven Wright Quotes

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

Steven Wright

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

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PetElephantLostApartmentGot

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.

Jimmy Fallon

GodBookThank GodDownChapterPut

Cops and robbers resemble each other, so there's not a lot to learn in terms of learning the logistics of committing the crime or investigating the crime.

Andre Braugher

LearningLearnCrimeLogisticsCops

You know, we love stories and we love narrative; we love to get lost in an author's world.

Jeff Bezos

LoveWorldYouLostKnowNarrative

There are always people looking for extra income.

Stacy Brown-Philpot

PeopleLookingAlwaysIncomeExtra

Why is it is claimed that if people won't or can't take care of their own needs, that people in government can do it for them?

Ron Paul

GovernmentPeopleCareTake CareWhy

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

Ron White

LiveGreatRock StarRockStarLike

I feel like a first-team Premier League player at Palace.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek

FeelPalaceI Feel LikeLikeI Feel

I'm allergic to cats, so I'm psychologically wired to associating kittens with itchy eyes and popping Claritin.

Ross Butler

EyesCatsAllergicWiredPopping

I had 25 or 30 songs. Sequencing the record, I left that to the producer. I'm not into doing that stuff.

Jules Shear

DoingProducerLeftStuffSongsHad

You don't have to be alone with your thoughts anymore. You don't have to process anything. You can call up someone to do something to instantly make you sort of feel better.

Dennis Quaid

AloneThoughtsBetterSomeoneYou

Don't judge a person on winning or losing.

Dong Dong

LosingWinningJudgePerson

The league, is doing well. It is just a matter of trying to sort some things out with my contract.

Cobi Jones

DoingTryingMatterOutContract

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