American - Dramatist | May 19, 1876 - April 3, 1933
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner
FoolAlwaysWhoHeHisFellow
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
DeathWelcomeUpEarsOnlyTried
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
LadyBornBedEmbarrassment
The first hundred years are the hardest.
FirstYearsHardestHundred Years
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
PersonDramaHimSurprisesCritic
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
ThinkHollywoodHeroesAudience
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
KnowOwnSquareGuyRatherThan
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
PeopleMostHalf-Baked
Failure has gone to his head.
FailureHeadGoneHis
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
ServiceHollywoodSewerRitz
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
LawyersContactLeaveOwnFortune
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
YouKnowLyingBeginsReadSentence
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