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Rita Rudner Quotes

American - Comedian | September 17, 1955 -

Every audience has a personality. Some of them don't have the best personalities, but you're on a date with them for an hour and a half, so you just make the best of it.

Best Personality You Audience Half

I don't do Jewish stuff because I don't want people to be left out. If I mention the Torah in Alabama, it's not going to go down that well. I used to do some Jewish jokes because when I started, I used to play lots of Jewish country clubs.

People Down Country Play Go Want

I have to visualise my jokes, live my jokes, feel the audience because every audience is different. It's like having a different dancing partner every night.

Live Night Partner Feel Dancing

I have no organisational skills. All my energy goes into worry - worrying takes a lot of energy.

Energy Worry Skills Worrying Takes

If you are who you are on stage, people pay attention.

People Attention You Pay Attention

I wanted to say things that were natural coming from me.

Me Say Coming Things Natural Wanted

I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were 1,000 girls. And there were three jobs. So I said I'll just try comedy. And I loved it.

Loved Comedy Said Three Try Dancing

While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and been buried in mulch.

Baby Internet New Teach Will Hard

Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.

Independence Done Favorite Much Ever

You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it.

People Trying You Body Anything Get

I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience.

Love Me Person Go Authority Up

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