American - Comedian | July 6, 1927 - April 24, 1997
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
TiredPeopleSickWineEnjoyTalk
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
I AmRightLeftWingNorNeither
I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?
GoodJobGovernmentThinkGood Job
Should we continue to spend billions to subsidize foreign military dictatorships, or should we concentrate on taking better care of the one we have right here at home?
HomeCareBetterMilitaryRight
I will not claim I will solve all the world's problems by myself. If I did, I'd have to run as a Republican or a Democrat.
MyselfWorldProblemsRunWillDid
As I've always said: The future lies ahead.
FutureSaidAheadAlwaysLies
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
RomanticDanceManI AmSongStand
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
MoneyMeSongChocolateEnoughDown
Will I obliterate national debt? Sure, why not?
DebtWhyWillNational DebtSure
The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.
LifeRideMy LifeLongDownYears
I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
NowStandardsUpYours
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
ControlFlyCountryRightCircles
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