American - Comedian | November 14, 1947 -
The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants.
P. J. O'Rourke
ReligionLawDisrespectCongress
Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir.
YouPersonDustMemoirTenCover
The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.
GreatKissWorldPlantBetterWild
Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee.
LiveNew YorkUglyPeopleAmerica
Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
HateHimCommunistRussiansJimmy
Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching.
DetroitRomeIndustrialRuinsLike
Love can never be fully explained.
LoveNeverExplainedFully
Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool.
CoolStatusAlikeBeingHorses
In midlife, we're as dumb as we get.
DumbGet
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.'
LifePoliticsWordsAmericanMagic
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
TeacherTeachersPunishmentUse
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
ChildrenGrowing UpYouStopKnow
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