American - Comedian | June 1, 1984 -
I just got a new dog, so I was worried that he'd hate the fireworks, and he did, but just because he's not a patriot, not because of the loud sounds. The loud sounds he's fine with - he just hates America.
Nikki Glaser
DogHateAmericaNewJust Because
If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump.
Donald TrumpExtinctionBringGoing
The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.'
PeopleBodyBornWrongUnderstand
Up until recently, I've said, 'I don't notice the sexism in the industry.'
SaidUpSexismIndustryNotice
As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might as well go full force on it.
YouSexGoWillTalkForce
Things end in this business. Shows get canceled, or you walk away from them - but most likely, things get canceled.
BusinessWalkEndYouThingsGet
I've been saying inappropriate things since I was a kid.
SayingKidThingsBeenInappropriate
I just want to open people's eyes to different things.
EyesPeopleWantOpenThingsJust
I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'.
LifeGratefulEnoughEarlyFind
It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them.
LifeSuccessBusinessSupportCool
Nothing really shocks me anymore.
MeNothingAnymoreReallyShocks
All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think.
LifeSchoolPeopleHigh SchoolThink
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