American - Comedian | June 21, 1985 -
Mike Pence is the kind of guy that brushes his teeth and then drinks orange juice and thinks, 'Mmm.'
Michelle Wolf
KindOrangeTeethJuiceGuyThinks
Watching Rachel Maddow is like going to Target. You went in for milk, but you left with shampoo, candles, and the entire history of the Byzantine Empire. 'I didn't need this.'
HistoryYouTargetMilkWatching
Republicans are easy to make fun of.
FunEasyMakeRepublicans
We cannot forget about Rachel Maddow. She is the Peter Pan of MSNBC. But instead of never growing up, she never gets to the point.
Growing UpGrowingForgetNeverShe
The jig is up: I'm not a nice lady.
LadyNiceUpJig
We're never gonna have a nice lady run for president.
LadyNiceRunPresidentNeverGonna
There's something about us as stand-ups that when we're on our feet, we feel more in control of the situation and in control of our bodies and our delivery.
ControlFeetFeelSituationMoreUs
There's a lot of nuances to stand-up that you definitely see when you watch someone like Chris Rock in that his body position is also part of why the joke works.
SomeoneYouBodyRockWhySee
The thing that's frustrating about improv is that even if you have the best show in the world, it's over when it's over. You get to build stand-up - I really like that aspect of it. I like writing jokes, and you don't get to do that in improv.
BestWritingWorldYouBuildJokes
I did so many open mics. I would write jokes on Twitter constantly, and then slowly, over time, open mics turned into shows. If you can get a joke to work at an open mic, it's a good joke.
WorkGoodTimeYouWriteJokes
I was an athlete in college, and Wall Street likes athletes because they're very competitive people that are willing to do anything to win. So I got a job at Bear Stearns in the summer of 2007.
JobPeopleCollegeWinWallSummer
It's hard to make a joke out of someone that's a joke.
SomeoneHardJokeOutMake
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Michelle Wolf quotes