American - Comedian | January 26, 1958 -
Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
Ellen DeGeneres
HolidaysCheeseNothingChristmas
Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
EyesYourselfYouSometimesSee
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
FunnyChildPeopleMeYouAsk
I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
BirthdayTimeCrazyThinkWeird
People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house.
LoveChildrenPeopleMeThought
The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.
FearHappinessJoyPeopleStart
I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left.
MeGrowing UpSayingThinkInnocence
Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with bungee jumping!
MeYouRightUpJumpingPretty
I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me.
AngerMeSadnessHeartbreak
People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with anything?
TimePeopleMeDressesHardWear
People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going.
LovePeopleGossipEntertainment
I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
HateWorldSmallDeepTreesYou
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