American - Comedian | June 6, 1959 -
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
Colin Quinn
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I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
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You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
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I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
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I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.
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I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.
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Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.
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Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
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I always wanted to write as much as perform.
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You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
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The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
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I like guy stuff.
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