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Daniel Tosh Quotes

I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.

Daniel Tosh

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: May 29, 1975

Topics

I Am New Want Never Old Jokes

I love to take care of people, so I think I'd be a good vet. I always wanted to be a vet when I was little.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Love Good People Think Care Always

Microsoft certainly makes products for the Macintosh.

Melinda Gates

Products Microsoft Makes Macintosh

Taxes are not good things, but if you want services, somebody's got to pay for them so they're a necessary evil.

Michael Bloomberg

Good Evil Good Things You Want Pay

I thought maybe I'd be a female sportscaster.

Amy Landecker

Thought Maybe Female

Guests who shop at Ulta know exactly what we're about. People who have not shopped at Ulta or have not shopped at Ulta for a long time have a fuzzy image. And that's what I'm all about sharpening and elevating.

Mary Dillon

Time People Long Know Long Time Who

Vivek is a very supportive man. If I am in the kitchen doing something, he comes and helps. I don't think marriage will change anything for us. Our careers will not be affected after marriage. He believes in gender equality and is a man of today's time.

Divyanka Tripathi

Change Marriage Today Time Man I Am

If you're an actor from New York, and you're Italian-American, you grow up hoping Marty Scorsese knows your name at some point before you die.

Bobby Cannavale

New York Name Grow Die You New

My mother had introduced me to a lot of my father's friends because she believed that I would get to know the guy my dad was better through his friends than just in the hospital visits.

Arlo Guthrie

Father Mother Me Better Friends She

Area 51 is located in southern Nevada desert about 75 miles north of Las Vegas. It's set inside a greater land parcel that's about the size of the state of Connecticut that's called the 'Nevada Test and Training Range.'

Annie Jacobsen

Training Desert Vegas Test Land

I've always wanted to put a little solarium on the back of my house. You know. Glass.

Sylvia Browne

You Back House Know Glass Always

I just want to go to Disneyland. I need that a lot, to just let everything go, go on some roller coasters and have fun.

Shanice Williams

Fun Have Fun Go Want Disneyland Lot

I have a strong disrespect for authority and for rules. Including gravity. Gravity sucks.

Sebastian Thrun

Strong Disrespect Rules Authority