Akiva Schaffer Quotes

What 'SNL' taught me that was useful on 'The Watch' was, only put in bad words if they can get a laugh - there was no need for swear words and beeps in places that weren't necessary. Those beeps should only be in there when they mean something and it's important to the joke.

Akiva Schaffer

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: writer
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: December 1, 1977

Topics

WordsMeLaughBadImportantMean

Well, I had a small degree, that little infection of skepticism about America which resides in the minds of even America's closest friends. That America can't be quite as good as it says it is. And why does it need so relentlessly to keep saying how good it is?

Robert MacNeil

GoodSmallSayingFriendsAmerica

First was the mouse. The second was the click wheel. And now, we're going to bring multi-touch to the market. And each of these revolutionary interfaces has made possible a revolutionary product - the Mac, the iPod and now the iPhone.

Steve Jobs

NowWheelPossibleFirstiPhone

Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'

Ron Funches

FunnyBestMeBadSituationNice

I feel relieved that we discovered that Iraq did not have nuclear weapons.

Mohamed ElBaradei

FeelNuclear WeaponsWeaponsI Feel

I really fancied myself a comedic actress.

Lizzy Caplan

MyselfActressReallyComedic

In general, I think it's an advantage politically to keep people guessing.

Jared Polis

PeopleThinkGuessingKeepAdvantage

I'm always surprised when people respond positively to what I am saying, given its seriousnessness and strange nature.

Jordan Peterson

NatureI AmPeopleSayingStrange

I'm going to be quite choosy about singing. If I connect to a tune and like what I am offered to sing, I'll do it. I am an actor by profession, not a singer.

Dhanush

I AmSingingActorSingerConnect

I think you should make more movies, more musicals. I think the public deserves that. I think this country deserves to be able to get out and foster that talent. Give them an opportunity to become stars. I think the whole idea is wonderful.

Donald O'Connor

StarsOpportunityTalentThinkYou

I am very proud of The Saints and I'm very glad that I've been associated with them all these years, but the next record is the best record... has to be the philosophy for any band that remains even halfway decent or vibrant, and that is kind of where my head's at.

Chris Bailey

BestI AmProudPhilosophyKind

When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect.

David Steinberg

RespectMoneyYouBeingStartedGet

The whole point of social media is continuity and continual engagement.

Clara Shih

Social MediaMediaPointSocial

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