Whitney Cummings Quotes

I used to put on spray tan, like, three times a day, and it just looked like there was a terrible accident in my bed at all times... it looked like a crime scene.

Whitney Cummings

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

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DayBedThreeCrimeTanUsed

Elvis Presley, you can't define him in a couple of sentences, but he was a country boy and he was very respectful.

Jerry Leiber

YouCountryBoyHimCountry BoyHe

In modern American politics, being the right kind of ignorant and entertainingly crazy is like having a big right hand in boxing; you've always got a puncher's chance.

Matt Taibbi

PoliticsCrazyChanceAmericanYou

It is not possible to create peace in the Middle East by jeopardizing the peace of the world.

Aneurin Bevan

PeaceWorldCreatePossibleMiddle

My literary heroes all wrote about L.A.: Joseph Wambaugh, Ross Macdonald, and Raymond Chandler were the three writers that made me want to be a writer.

Michael Connelly

MeThreeWantHeroesWriterMade

Lyrical poets have to be in touch with visceral experience. I've always tried to avoid virtual experiences. That's emerging in my fiction.

Steven Heighton

ExperienceTouchAlwaysFiction

My mother bought me a brand new suit for going away to college. We were poor, but she wanted me to have that. It was a powder blue suit with peg pants - you know, skinny at the bottom. I think I made quite an impression with that.

Tom Heinsohn

MotherBlueCollegeMeThinkBrand

I was running sub-13 minutes for 5,000 when I was still coached by Alan Storey, and I won double gold at the Europeans in 2010.

Mo Farah

GoldDoubleStillMinutesRunning

Like many parents after a long family holiday, I usually welcome the moment when my kids head back to school.

Jose Andres

FamilyMomentSchoolWelcomeParents

I've walked on a lot of battlefields. Most of them are not haunted.

Diana Gabaldon

MostHauntedLotThemWalked

When they write about real stuff like my custody battle, that's no fun. Some things have leaked out about accusations that have gone back and forth and that's just mean. It's a tactic.

Dean Cain

FunBattleBackMeanWriteReal

Ninety percent of my game is mental. It's my concentration that has gotten me this far.

Chris Evert

MeGameMentalConcentrationPercent

You don't often see vulnerability on TV, especially talk shows.

Chris Gethard

TimeLieConfidentJustWould

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