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Colin Jost Quotes

Each week, we might write 500 jokes for 'Weekend Update,' and ultimately, we can only do about 10.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: June 29, 1982

Topics

Golf First Stage Joke Ever

Never use your own money. Steal a good idea and say it's your own. Do anything to get publicity. Remember that everybody can be bought.

Good Money Remember Say Never Own

In terms of fear, I still am most afraid of Freddie Kruger.

Fear Afraid Still Most Am Terms

It's obvious that any new show comes with its share of blunders, misfires, and bad choices.

Choices Bad New Bad Choices Share

A lot of times, really wonderful things that have come my way have come basically out of the blue.

Stacey D'Erasmo

Blue Way Out Wonderful Things Come

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

Life Humor Impossible Absence Total

The reason I stopped doing the band is that I wanted to do something different... Yes had become like 'Groundhog Day' for me. I loved being in the band, but it was album-tour, album-tour, different album-different tour.

Day Me Loved Doing Become Reason

Having grown up in a military family, I know that politics should have no role in determining who is best qualified to lead our armed forces.

Family Best Politics Know Military

People don't know exactly what I do; they just know I'm 'cool.'

People Cool Know Just Exactly

I'm not a diver. I know that.

I am the guy that, if you catch me saying something, I don't do the, 'Don't tell anybody I said it.' If I said it, I said it. I'm gonna stand right here and say it again to whoever - the end. What's the trouble? Where's the problem?

I Am Me Saying End Stand Problem

I'm a kid from Kansas, so J.C. Penney was where I got all my clothes from kindergarten to around 7th grade.

Clothes Kid Kindergarten Kansas Got

People in business generally have a responsibility to the community. They have to put back into the community from which they take. I think I've adopted that all through my life. Caring and sharing are two major fundamentals of life.

Life Business Community Caring Think

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