Chelsea Handler Quotes

There was never a moment when I was like, 'I'm going to enter the public conversation on the importance of female nudity.'

Chelsea Handler

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

MomentConversationNeverGoingLike

Sometimes there are no good guys. There are no bad guys. It seems like everybody is in the middle.

Jim Mattis

GoodBadSometimesMiddleGood Guys

I suppose you've got to look like you're made of steel for nudity. You've got to get some arms on you.

Joe Dempsie

YouLookSteelGetArmsMade

My goal's always to connect and relate to my audience. I want them to leave my show feeling like they got to know me better - not only that, but like we could be friends. I want people to leave going, 'Oh my gosh, I could totally hang out with her!'

Anjelah Johnson

PeopleMeBetterFriendsGoalKnow

When we, as humans, articulate, our tongues tend to hit the back of the teeth.

Andy Serkis

BackTeethHitOurHumansTend

My friends, they get married at 15 years old. I saw them with bruises on their faces. I realized this is the real face of child marriage.

Sonita Alizadeh

MarriageChildFaceFriendsReal

It's certainly sobering to think that British consumers waste roughly a quarter of the food we buy. Or to put it another way, we funnel £12 billion a year from the supermarket through to our rubbish tips, costing each household an average of £480.

Tristram Stuart

FoodThinkYearWayThroughBuy

If I can just play, it doesn't matter where we are... Japan, Australia, or here in the neighborhood.

Trombone Shorty

I CanPlayAustraliaMatterHere

It appears fashionable these days, and almost politically correct, to blame hard-working immigrants, especially those from Mexico and Central America, for the social and economic ills of our state and nation.

Roger Mahony

BlameAmericaImmigrantsMexicoDays

Authenticity has never been Barbie's strong suit.

Mona Eltahawy

StrongBarbieAuthenticityNever

I'm not gonna ruin my reputation with the blacks no more.

Lisa Lampanelli

ReputationMoreRuinBlacksGonna

The more interesting the 9-to-5 work is, the more it takes away from my real work, which is writing.

Judith Rossner

WorkWritingInterestingMoreReal

It's exciting being in the present. You're always reading emails, talking about the future, looking at pictures on Facebook of the past. But living in the present? It's almost a dead medium. I almost want to do a sketch about being in the present.

Jonathan Krisel

FuturePastLookingReadingPresent

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