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Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.

Lisa Lampanelli

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: July 19, 1961

Topics

Work Dog Mother Trust Me Year

Success is a scary concept because it assumes something kind of final. In the grand scheme of life, I don't think there is some ultimate success.

Sophia Amoruso

Life Success Think Kind Scary Final

'Banshee' was interesting because it was on cable, and it didn't have commercial breaks, so it read like a movie. Not only because of that, but it was a pretty interesting style, and I hadn't read a show like this.

Trieste Kelly Dunn

Style Interesting Pretty Show Only

I'm a pretty well-read person. I read my paper every morning.

Tom McCarthy

Morning Person Pretty Paper Read

What's my favorite food besides pancakes? I guess it would be flapjacks, followed closely by hotcakes. After that, crepes... but thick crepes. Y'know, like, pancake-thick.

Rob Riggle

Food Pancakes Favorite Would Like

I never saw The Beatles live. I was very aware of them, though.

Ron Howard

Live Never Beatles Saw Aware Though

If the federal government had been around when the Creator was putting His hand to this state, Indiana wouldn't be here. It'd still be waiting for an environmental impact statement.

Ronald Reagan

Government Waiting Environmental Hand

Since 2001, I've done what every elected official should be doing in government right now. My staff and I took a look at the books, thought outside the box and proposed reforms.

Mike Quigley

Government Thought Doing Look Done

Sketching in general - anywhere, not just in Gitmo, but in life, in the world - is a profoundly disruptive act. Because you're creating something when you're kind of expected to consume or sit passively. I've always sketched things as a way to get into them, whether it was a fancy nightclub or, you know, to have kids think I was cool, whatever.

Molly Crabapple

Life Cool World Think You Know

I never come back home with the same moral character I went out with; something or other becomes unsettled where I had achieved internal peace; some one or other of the things I had put to flight reappears on the scene.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Home Character Peace Back Moral Out

To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic.

Don Rickles

Day School People Reputation Say

I think that there are some people on the so-called Left who might say we have to circle our wagons around the first African American president, and to me that is racism in reverse because his policies are actually still the racist policies of empire.

Cindy Sheehan

Racism People Me Think American Say

Choose rather to be strong of soul than strong of body.

Pythagoras

Soul Be Strong Strong Choose Body