Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

Mitch Hedberg

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: comedian
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Topics

SmartPeopleMeBrainFreeName

Music industry's a fragmented mess.

Jimmy Iovine

MusicMessIndustryFragmented

Teenagers especially are very, very conscious about what is hip and what is lame and what is square and what is out and what is in, you know. And, I mean, I grew up right there in the middle of a black culture. And I knew dead-on what it was.

Jerry Leiber

CultureBlackYouKnowMeanRight

Think for a moment about what Obamacare has done: The federal government has come up with its own (ever-evolving) definition of 'health insurance,' which now includes free access to sterilization, contraception, and certain abortifacients such as the morning-after pill.

John Cornyn

HealthMomentGovernmentFreeThink

One of the many things I like about baseball is how it combines individual talent and teamsmanship.

Jed S. Rakoff

TalentBaseballIndividualThings

When you doubt, abstain.

Ambrose Bierce

WisdomDoubtYouAbstain

Debate is masculine, conversation is feminine.

Amos Bronson Alcott

ConversationDebateMasculine

In short I will part with anything for you but you.

Mary Wortley Montagu

RomanticShortYouWillAnything

It's crazy how the world evolves and the audience gives you an opportunity to really grow and live out your dreams.

Luis Fonsi

DreamsLiveOpportunityYour Dreams

Los Angeles, the sun shines a lot, and it's blue, and there's palm trees; it's a bit like Sydney, I guess, but the underbelly is a vicious, mean, cruel, awful place.

Loudon Wainwright III

BlueSunTreesPlaceLos Angeles

I've visited schools all across our state, and the message is clear. Our kids have needs today, and our educators need more resources to do their jobs.

Doug Ducey

TodayMoreNeedResourcesClearOur

If we are to give the people of China complete self-government we must first solve the problem of livelihood for all, and give real freedom to the races within China. If the foundations of democracy are secure, then true equality can be achieved.

Chiang Kai-shek

FreedomEqualityPeopleDemocracy

Commonly, athletes will bolster their dietary intake with everyday vitamins such as magnesium and iron as well as more exotic products such as whey protein, creatine, carnitine and branched-chain amino acids specifically aimed at improving performance and recovery time.

Chuck Norris

TimePerformanceWillEverydayMore

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