American - Journalist | June 24, 1842 - 1914
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
Ambrose Bierce
SaidNeverDemocratsWere
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
HappinessWomanBrideWeddingHer
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
TruthShadowTruth IsDoubtNever
Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
BeautifulOptimismUglyBelief
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
CountryRepublicanDemocratsDemocrat
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
RoadsPhilosophyNothingNowhere
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
BeautifulIdentityLadyTwoPoison
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
LifeSpiritualBodyPickleDecay
Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
PoliticsHandsTwoThievesUnion
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
GodWarGeographyWayTeaching
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
ArtSunPictureWithoutPhotograph
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
BusinessResponsibilityProfitDevice
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