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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Mitch Hedberg

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Topics

Work Good Back Lost Bubble Gum

To this day, the only argument against Obama that critics can seem to come up with involves admitting he's better than them - though they certainly season it with some racism. You know, he's that lucky black man who actually appeals to the populace. He's that elitist who got himself off food stamps and into Harvard.

John Ridley

Food Day Man Racism Black Better

Mugabe's resignation fascinates because the fall of tyrants is always a family story, decline of the father, writ large. What a strange creature he is.

Simon Sebag Montefiore

Family Father Story Fall Strange He

Bonuses balance my budget in New York City. The bigger the bonuses on Wall Street, the more money I had to spend on poor people. The New York City budget is determined greatly by the bonuses given on Wall Street.

Rudy Giuliani

Money Balance New York People City

I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

Roseanne Barr

Me Think Become President Politician

The United States of America was originally an experiment. But it was an experiment in recognizing God-given individual liberty and creating a government in which we no one is deemed better than another. And in which all of us are equal. Not equal in abilities, but equal in intrinsic worth and value.

Mike Huckabee

Government Value Better America

'Bowling For Columbine' and 'Gus Van Sant's Elephant' really intrigued me. With 'Bowling For Columbine', I think Michael Moore just gave the perfect exploration of both the mass media interpretation of the event and going into the minds of these kids. These were messed-up kids who had hit a point of no return.

Josh Trank

Me Think Elephant Media Perfect

I tend to leave people alone that I admire.

Jason Statham

Alone People Admire Leave Tend

You can lose people without them dying, and I have, from moving, from traveling. The emotion is real, it just doesn't actually have to do with death. I'm singing about what I know, and it's a song about longing for somebody who's disappeared in your life.

Jon Crosby

Life Death People Singing Song Lose

When success comes, people can try to trick you or take advantage of you.

Christina Aguilera

Success People You Take Advantage

I learned about being positive from my parents. They're the most positive people I've ever known.

Brendon Urie

Positive Parents People Being Most

'Gifts' was just a short little one-verse song that I used to close shows in the '60s.

Bruce Cockburn

Song Short Little Used Gifts Just

I come from a family that has been here for almost 200 years. My ancestors started a very dangerous gunpowder business in 1802, and my great- grandfather and his father were both killed in gunpowder explosions.

Pete du Pont

Family Father Business Great Years