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Roseanne Barr Quotes

American - Actress | November 3, 1952 -

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

Fat You Okay Shut Up Up Just

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

Beer Mom Ego You Personal First

Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.

Mother Perspective Wife Brother City

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

Hate Fun Goddess Never Anything

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Work Home Parenting Job Husband

I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.

Women Beautiful Men Tired World Now

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

Good Myself People Judge Why Pretty

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

Day Worry House Cleaning Riding Out

I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy.

Cats Me Energy Try Because Steal

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.

Marriage Divorce Seriously Way Take

I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.

Life Live My Life Now Movies Living

I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.

Marriage Myself Government Husband

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