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Jeff Garlin Quotes

First off, I don't do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don't care how much I weigh.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: June 5, 1962

Topics

Care Fat Comedy Talk First Always

I would say that Barack Obama has always been a real optimist about what can be accomplished. He believes that government can be used to create systemic, long-term, real change. And the first lady is more of a skeptic.

Change Government Lady Create Say

My work is not great, but it's respectable.

Work Great Respectable

Apple and Samsung are selling in such high volumes, and they're vertically integrated more and more, that it's very, very hard for anyone to compete against Apple and Samsung in the high-volume part of the smartphone or tablet market.

Apple Selling More Hard High Market

The intelligent are to the intelligentsia what a gentleman is to a gent.

Stanley Baldwin

Gentleman Intelligent Intelligentsia

I didn't listen to anyone. I was so violent, so authoritarian, only listening to what I wanted and myself.

Myself Listening Listen Authoritarian

I don't know what I would have done had I not found the Internet. I found a community of people who I really liked and who I felt got me.

Community People Me Internet Know

I usually play disenfranchised youth.

Youth Play Disenfranchised

Ultimately, China may use force to push for unification with Taiwan, a scenario we all must work to prevent.

Work Push Force China May Must

I don't care more about '13' because it's in the Olivier than I did about 'Cock' in a 100-seat studio. They both matter because it's still a person sat there watching your play. And the play has to be good enough - because there are a hundred other writers out there who deserve to have their play on instead.

Good Care Enough Person Play Matter

The world needs a strong America.

Michael Mandelbaum

World Strong America Needs

History is, of course, a made thing. It does not exist by itself in anything like a recognizable form.

History Anything Exist Like Made

We call them impact songs, and people buy impact songs. But you just never know what those songs are going to be. One of those songs that really went through the roof for us was 'Big Green Tractor,' which I thought was kind of a fun little ditty song that I never in a million years thought would be as big as it was. But it was.

Fun People Green Song Thought You

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