John Oliver Quotes

Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.

John Oliver

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

ComedyYouDoneStand-Up ComedyJust

If you have a YouTube account, you essentially have your own channel, and anybody who subscribes, or any of your friends on YouTube, they're your audience.

John Cabrera

FriendsYouYouTubeAudienceOwn

I was too much of a victim of the model I created. I tried Change to Win and helping Obama, and then I just ran out of Andy Stern ideas.

Andy Stern

ChangeIdeasWinToo MuchOutJust

Bruno Mars is pretty fashionable. Gary Clarck Junior, who was also in our ad with Jimmy Page, is a super super stylish guy.

John Varvatos

StylishPageMarsPrettyGuyWho

I made the decision to turn pro, and I remember what Ali said to me: 'Get Angelo Dundee. He's the right complexion with the right connection.' He knew boxing. Our relationship was so genuine, so sincere.

Sugar Ray Leonard

RelationshipDecisionMeRemember

I can be a lazy slob.

Shirley MacLaine

I CanLazySlob

You almost have to create situations in order to write about them, so I live in a constant state of self-imposed poverty. I don't want to live any other way.

Tom Waits

LivePovertyYouCreateWantWay

No holiday, no job, no amount of money, not even my own security can mean more to me than my love for God.

Monica Johnson

LoveGodMoneyJobMeHoliday

Stuff happens when you are a kid; it scars you inside for life.

Corey Haim

LifeYouScarsInsideKidStuff

I never want to make the quarterback feel like I'm being a distraction or I've got any negativity toward him.

Antonio Brown

FeelNegativityWantNeverHimGot

Israel has a problem not because of the perception that the entire world is against us, but because of the government's problematic policies.

Tzipi Livni

GovernmentWorldPerceptionProblem

I really was kind of like a musical nerd. I would watch VH1's 'Behind The Music.' That was heavy when I was a kid. I would sit up and want to watch that all day instead of going outside sometimes.

Rico Love

MusicDaySometimesWantKindKid

You shouldn't make fun of people who have issues.

Richard Simmons

FunPeopleYouMakeWhoIssues

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