American - Cartoonist | June 8, 1957 -
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
Scott Adams
InvitationYourJoinHallucination
The best things in life are silly.
LifeBestSillyThings
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
ProblemsPersonalThroughHighFew
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
FuturePowerFocusStupidityEnergy
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
MyselfSituationMeetClockNever
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
PeopleBadNiceBecomeOffCome
Psychology is the only necessary skill for running for president. Trump knows psychology.
SkillPresidentPsychologyNecessary
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
BusinessTraditionLongResults
If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you may wake up each day with failure in mind because the goal is hard to reach, and you are progressing only by small amounts. It takes up all your willpower. I recommend that instead of a goal, you have a system.
FailureDayMindSmallWake UpLose
Rotten bosses don't get better. Any strategy that assumes they can is doomed.
BetterStrategyGetRottenBosses
I think if you talk to anybody who ever went from not having much to having enough to buy what they wanted, they're always happier. Now I get that whole '$75,000 a year is some kind of magic number,' but my experience is 'more is better, up to a point.' Then there's a point where it doesn't make any difference.
ExperienceThinkBetterMagicYear
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
SomeoneEarlyYearsPrettySure
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