American - Journalist | August 14, 1925 -
Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Russell Baker
WorkDownLostThreeBreakGet
You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.
HeartLightEnjoyYouHeavyVerse
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.
CarPeopleFoolsPossibleCowards
What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.
HomeLiveTreesGrowNewRight
Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
SchoolPoetryUsVitalSpoilsUntil
Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.
LiveDieYouPublicity
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world.
MyselfPoetryWorldLonelyNewUp
Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.
PoetryLossAirportWillHeavyMost
Americans like fat books and thin women.
WomenFatBooksLikeThin
It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.
LifeLawAmericanWhateverWallet
Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years.
LaughterComedyTelevisionSituation
Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didn't know.
ChangeDayKnowSaidNeverClearly
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