English - Comedian | September 25, 1929 - October 3, 2005
Next week we'll be investigating rumours that the president of the dairy council has become a Mason, and goes around giving his colleagues the 'secret milkshake.'
Ronnie Barker
ColleaguesGivingWeekBecomeSecret
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
MeaningMeanJokeDoubleOne Thing
In a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
ManBetterDoingSittingNothingHe
But first, the news: The House of Commons was sealed off today after police chased an escaped lunatic through the front door during Prime Minister's question time. A spokesman at Scotland Yard said it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
TodayTimePoliceDoorLookingNews
To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, it's the best job in the world.
BestJobPeopleWorldYouCareer
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
PoliceGoSayNothingBeenToilets
I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.
MenPeopleTelevisionRemembered
It's better to make people laugh than cry.
PeopleBetterLaughCryMakeThan
Don't just crit their siticising.
Just
There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.
SeaManPerformancePicturesStrange
In a packed programme tonight, we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.
TalkingMeetWillWhoTonightHe
We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion.
YouHumanChameleonExhaustionBeen
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Ronnie Barker quotes