American - Comedian | -
A lot of comics fly by the seat of their pants, and they pride themselves on being witty, quick, and off-the-cuff. That's not my show. I wrote a show, and I want to do the show I wrote. I'm not interested in what the audience has to say.
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FlyPrideSayWantWittyQuick
I do a bit called, 'You go, girl!' where I say, 'Don't tell me 'You go, girl!' I get it. I don't need you encourage me.' And nine times out of 10 after I finish the bit, some guy in the back will yell 'You go, girl!' I get a lot of that or 'I hear ya!' I don't generally - knock on fake wood - get mean heckling.
GirlMeFakeYouBackWood
The only time I don't get nervous is if I'm doing a home club in L.A. and I know all of my friends there because then I play to my friends. When I first started doing comedy, I hated it when my friends came; it made me more nervous. Now I just try to make them laugh.
HomeTimeMeLaughComedyDoing
I think anybody who works with Malcolm, the first thing they go, 'Holy cow! I'm working with Theo!' because that was part of my childhood.
ChildhoodThinkCowGoFirstHoly
I love a sexy caper show, and I love shows about con artists.
LoveSexyConArtistsShowAbout
If you follow me on social media, you may know that I am an L.A. Kings fan. I'm not kuh-ray-zee, but I am definitely enthusiastic. I love me some Kaaannnngggsss.
LoveSocial MediaI AmMeMediaYou
I know that meeting a black woman with a love for hockey is a bit like stumbling upon a unicorn in the woods... or a unicorn anywhere. I'm sure it'd be just as surreal finding a unicorn in downtown Chicago. But here I am.
LoveWomanI AmWoodsHockeyBlack
If someone annoys you on Twitter, check their feed first: you need to know if they're crazy.
CrazySomeoneYouKnowFirstNeed
If someone annoys you on Twitter, and they only have three friends, retweet it, then block them.
FriendsSomeoneYouThreeOnlyThen
When it comes to social media tea, I recommend that you take it offline. Keep your comments at Happy Hour.
Social MediaTeaHappyMediaYou
If your social media addiction comes between your relationship, you might want to quit.
RelationshipSocial MediaMediaYou
It is with a heavy heart that I learn of Joe Manganiello, a.k.a. my wolfy Twitter boo, is seeing one Ms. Sofia Vergara.
HeartLearnSeeingHeavyBooMs
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