American - Comedian | August 12, 1971 -
Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill.
Michael Ian Black
FinancialWishSkillMy OwnAwesome
I am not a music snob. If anything, my musical taste is bad by any critical standards.
MusicI AmBadStandardsAnything
If you get an idea, you might as well stick with it until somebody calls you on it.
YouStickWellGetIdeaSomebody
At this point, I feel fairly comfortable in terms of performance. I think having a sketch background actually helps a lot. Because my background is acting, and stand-up, in a lot of ways, is acting.
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Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.
ThinkKindTopCarrotVisualWell
I definitely script things out. I definitely write things down and try to write jokes. Often, they're terrible. I often write terrible, terrible jokes.
DownTryWriteOutJokesThings
My absolute favorite growing up was 'Super Friends.' The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.
WomanMeGrowing UpFriendsPlace
My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players, bands that play quiet, unassuming music, and TV shows that win awards. In that way, I am an elitist snob.
MusicSportsI AmWinQuietPlay
Let me tell you, the life of a C list celebrity is pretty sweet. If I want to go to an Applebee's, all I have to do is, literally, walk in the door. They seat me as soon as the other people ahead of me are seated.
LifeWalkPeopleMeDoorSweet
Corporations do a lot of things well, but not run nations, for obvious reasons.
RunThingsObviousWellReasonsLot
I honestly believe you can never tell if a relationship is going to last. In my own marriage, which is going on 14 years, I don't think of it as 'I'm going to be with this person forever.' Instead, I think of more like, 'I'll probably be with this person for the next six weeks. Then I'll re-evaluate.'
MarriageRelationshipBelieveThink
Most of the time, you don't win anything on reality shows. You're booted off, or maybe you win $50,000, or $100,000, which isn't really life-changing. I don't know that it's worth it.
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