American - Actor | July 2, 1947 -
Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
Larry David
RelationshipJustEveryPrecarious
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
BirdsBadSometimesDeafTryAble
You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
FunnyYouKnowKidDiscover
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
MoneyWifeThinkLonelyLaughWant
Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.
SpacePeopleBreathIdeaYourMost
In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
ServiceArmyYearLongActingThree
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
LifeMy LifePerfectBadEatAble
I'm cranky.
Cranky
Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
WomanManTryingPantsSufferMost
Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
WomenCrazySelf-ConfidenceBack
I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.
JustWantedLaughsReallyAfter
It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
PeopleComedyKindComingHearWere
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