British - Comedian | July 23, 1957 -
Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
Jo Brand
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I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
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I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.
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If you're a fat person - and especially if you're a woman - at all stages of your life you'll get abuse for it, so you have to work out a way of dealing with it. The best way is to be humorous about it - that defuses any tension.
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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
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The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.
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The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
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I've always been criticised for how filthy my material is. Victoria Wood said to me once, 'I wish I was a bit ruder, like you,' and I said, 'Well, I wish I was a bit cleaner, like you.'
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I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
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There are so many cliches associated with mental health - such as the 'fine line between lunacy and genius' - which are, on the whole, a load of rubbish.
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