American - Comedian | April 28, 1950 -
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.
Jay Leno
HomeFightBaseballSafetyHurtSay
I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for 'Running off to Canada.'
CanadaOffCourseRunningStood
In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
WorkGoodGood WorkAmericaDoing
Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.
TodayTruthDayLieHonorNow
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Jay Leno quotes