American - Actor | December 16, 1966 -
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
J. B. Smoove
GoodManLongLookCoatLean
Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In my brain, I consider myself the ultimate video game player. The ultimate snack maker.
LoveMyselfDisciplineMindBrain
Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing.
ParentSurvivalImportantSurviving
I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.
ManI AmMeOpportunitiesThiefGot
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
WorkHopeSpeakThinkUniverseYou
I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.
TruckDriveAmericanBigDodge
I'm sure back in the Greek days or the Roman Empire days, when guys fought in arenas and were fighting lions, people were talking smack. Every era in history has someone talking smack. No way you can have talent and not proclaim your victory.
HistoryTalentPeopleVictoryYou
I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.
MeCoolFearlessComedyHeightsOut
I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me.
I AmFunPeopleMeHockeyWhite
My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.
WifeMeSheEatVegetarianMeat
People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
LovePeopleHollywoodInsideSee
I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.
PoliticsTalkAnythingWellLike
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