American - Comedian | May 8, 1926 - April 6, 2017
Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
Don Rickles
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The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.
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We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.
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Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.
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I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
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I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.'
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Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Did I know at that time Clint Eastwood, to him, Heaven was a truck, a dog, and a picnic basket for food or something?
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I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out.
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Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.
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Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.
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I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat.
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You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.
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