Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quotes

American - Writer | November 28, 1986 -

I think female solitude is a mental condition as well as a physical state. You can be married and a spinster. I think spinster is an identity every woman can claim, if she will... I feel like a lot of women, or a lot of feminists, joke about taking to the sea or living alone in a cottage as this kind of fun freedom.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

WomenFreedomSeaAloneWomanFun

Everyone wants to be liked; everyone wants approval. No one likes being ignored.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

EveryoneBeing IgnoredBeingApproval

I have a lot of faith in the power of joking to make something thoughtful.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

FaithPowerThoughtfulSomethingLot

Usually my writing is very over the top and bombastic and very, like, 'I'm amazing! Look at me!'

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

AmazingMeWritingLookTopOver

With a few exceptions, birds are not to be trusted; it is not normal to have such soft, vulnerable bodies bookended with slashing beaks and razor-sharp claws. It is as unnatural as an armed marshmallow.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

BirdsNormalSoftExceptionsClaws

We went to church twice a week. My parents were employed in ministry; we prayed before dinner. We rollerbladed in the summer. We were allowed to watch the 'Simpsons.' I fought with my younger brother over Legos.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

BrotherParentsDinnerChurchWeek

I love reading religious authors. Especially in the sort of circle I move in, people tend to be more secular, and I love reading books by just really smart people of religious faith. It's always a really cool perspective.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

LoveFaithPerspectiveSmartPeople

The most successful Subway customers, of course, are the ones who can't keep their hands off their sandwich. Join your artist in the sandwich assembling process. That sneeze guard is a suggestion. That sneeze guard is trying to intimidate you into staying on the customer's side of the partition.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

ProcessCustomerHandsYouArtist

Did you know that, pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on Earth? It's true. Moose are very in tune with their natural surroundings.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

YouEarthKnowTrueSurroundings

I graduated with an English degree and worked for awhile in academic publishing.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

DegreeAcademicEnglishPublishing

There's no specific mission statement for the 'Toast.'

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

MissionStatementToastSpecific

I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

FunHave FunInternetFeelWishWay

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