Scottish - Comedian | May 17, 1962 -
It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.
Craig Ferguson
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It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television.
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I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.
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I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.'
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I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.
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If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.
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I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
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I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.
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I'm careful with money.
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I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.
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I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He said, 'You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.' And I'm going to.
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Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'
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