American - Entertainer | April 18, 1963 -
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.
Conan O'Brien
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People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.
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The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'
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In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.
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CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
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A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
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When all else fails there's always delusion.
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This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.
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There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.
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Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.
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Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion.
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Keep cool my babies.
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