American - Businessman | -
People who are lying are, understandably, more worried about being believed, so they work harder - too hard, as it were - at being believable.
Christopher Voss
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The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. Don't try to force your opponent to admit that you are right. Ask questions, that begin with 'How?' or 'What?' so your opponent uses mental energy to figure out the answer.
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Emotions are one of the main things that derail communication. Once people get upset at one another, rational thinking goes out of the window.
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Successful negotiation is not about getting to 'yes'; it's about mastering 'no' and understanding what the path to an agreement is.
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Price doesn't make deals, and salary doesn't control your career.
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There are three kinds of yeses. There's commitment, confirmation, and counterfeit. People are most used to giving the counterfeit yes because they've been trapped by the confirmation yes so many times. So the way you master no is understanding what really happens when somebody says 'no.' When yes is commitment, no is protection.
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Once you understand what a messy, emotional, and destructive dynamic 'fairness' can be, you can see why 'fair' is a tremendously powerful word that you need to use with care.
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The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don't know you're in.
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Salary negotiations shouldn't be limited to just salary. Salary pays your mortgage, but terms build your career.
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The No. 1 rule in any negotiation is don't take yourself hostage. People do this to themselves all the time by being desperate for 'yes' or afraid of 'no,' so they don't ask for what they really want. Instead, they ask for what they can realistically get. I've heard many people say, 'Well, that's a non-starter, so we won't even bring it up.'
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Negotiation is often described as the art of letting the other side have your way. You have to give the other side a chance to put stuff on the table voluntarily.
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Body language and tone of voice - not words - are our most powerful assessment tools.
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