American - Actor | October 11, 1967 -
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once you're laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what I'm saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
PurposeMountainSayingYouDown
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
LifeMy LifeWillAlwaysWhiskey
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
HappinessTimeSadnessComedyVegas
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
JokeAnythingApologizing
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
ChristianGamblingWeekendVegas
When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.'
WinterTimeChildPeopleGrowing Up
I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.
NowRightMissingOnlyResilient
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.
FunnyBossWorldLookingNowBig
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
NameCountrySayRunFirstDealt
To tell you the truth, I always wanted to be a sketch comedian and a comedy actor.
TruthComedyYouActorSketchTell
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
SportsWorldSeriousWayHighTakes
When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.
LifeJobYouOpenHonestSomething
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