American - Comedian | October 16, 1956 -
I'm not really in Louis CK's circle. It'd probably be harder if we were really close and I went off on him.
Andy Kindler
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I've never been paid as a prognosticator. I don't get a lot of work as a mentalist.
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Nobody gets excited when they see me. If I put on my wizard outfit and walk around the airport for a couple of hours, I get a couple of puzzled glances.
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I am the smartest comedian in the history of the world.
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'Ambulatory' is my favorite word to use because it never gets a laugh.
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The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it's pretty ludicrous.
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If everything was good, maybe I wouldn't have a career. I wouldn't have anything to make fun of.
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I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy.
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I'm not a confrontational person in real life, so I really don't wanna get into arguments or fistfights with people I'm making fun of.
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Louie is hugely talented. But I get very annoyed at the way the media... say, 'Louis C.K. is the greatest stand-up in the world.' He's not the greatest stand-up in the world. He's not funnier than Dave Attell.
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Sometimes things can be a guilty pleasure, but with 'Idol,' everyone talks about it like it's a real thing; they argue over who's gonna win... There's no laughing at it.
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I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country.
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