I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
DogPetNowGoneHeSpot
If a guy won't commit, he's a player.
Kristin Cavallari
GuyCommitPlayerHe
I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don't care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss.
Mindy Kaling
ManHairCareLossWantHe
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
Chris Rock
FirstCurseBecauseHeComedian
Life is a pilgrimage. The wise man does not rest by the roadside inns. He marches direct to the illimitable domain of eternal bliss, his ultimate destination.
Swami Sivananda
LifeManWiseDestinationRestHe
For me, Bloodshot was the least appealing character that Valiant had. He was so cold.
Jeff Lemire
CharacterMeColdHeLeastValiant
Jesus was happy when people acknowledged his dignity and saddened when they did not, but he never sought their esteem or regard.
Mother Angelica
HappyPeopleDignityNeverHeDid
I think of Mike Myers as the Buster Keaton of today. I think he's brought us something so special.
Robert Wagner
TodayThinkSpecialSomethingUsHe
An author departs, he does not die.
Dinah Maria Mulock
DieHeDoesAuthor
My father is Polish, and at 68, he still wears a Speedo to the beach, and he wears regular briefs - so did his father. That was my upbringing.
Antoni Porowski
FatherBeachStillHeDidHis
Keats writes better about poems than anybody I've ever read. The things that he says about what he wants his own poems to be are the ideals that I share.
Andrew Motion
BetterOwnThingsShareThanHe
He that hath deserved hanging may be glad to escape with a whipping.
Thomas Brooks
EscapeHangingMayGladHeDeserved
My father was one of 11. He was an attorney. My mother worked for the Syracuse newspaper as a columnist before she became a stay-at-home mother.
Siobhan Fallon Hogan
FatherMotherNewspaperSheHe
If Judd Apatow called me, I'd do it without thinking about it. I think he does really fun movies.
Kimberly Elise
FunMeThinkThinkingMoviesHe
I think it eminently proper that a president should retire from active politics, and equally proper that he should be able to live in quiet independence.
Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar II
LivePoliticsThinkIndependenceHe
But I want to just caution, it is not incumbent on the United States to prove that Saddam Hussein is trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction. He's already demonstrated that he's trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction.
Condoleezza Rice
TryingWantProveUnitedCautionHe
There's no one in the world close to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is a phenomenon. He's brilliant.
Sylvester Stallone
WorldBrilliantCloseArnoldHe
Lincoln was not an intellectual, but no one in 200 years understood the language of the King James Bible or learned Blackstone's Laws of England, or Cicero, or the language of the Founding Fathers, better than he did.
Michael Ignatieff
KingBibleLanguageBetterYearsHe
I used to carry my father's Bible and put it on the pulpit so he could preach.
Mr. T
FatherBiblePreachCarryUsedHe
Hamilton was extremely combative. Not only was he combative, but he also overreacted to anything he perceived as a threat or a criticism.
Ron Chernow
CriticismAnythingOnlyThreatHe
My husband calls me 'catfish.' He says I'm all mouth and no brains.
Dolly Parton
MeHusbandMouthBrainsCatfishHe
I didn't raise Todd to be a writer, but he happened to be one anyway.
Anne McCaffrey
WriterRaiseHappenedHeAnyway
It is one test of a fully developed writer that he reminds us of no one but himself.
Melvin Maddocks
TestUsWriterHeHimselfReminds
Let each become all that he was created capable of being.
Thomas Carlyle
BecomeCapableBeingHeCreated
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