I always thought that the fastest way for me to get ahead and get noticed and to do well was to make my act very accessible. When I first started, I talked about family stuff, my dog, my cat. It was all I knew back then; I wasn't forcing anything, but I wasn't like, 'Hey, don't you hate doing homework?'
Nick Swardson
FamilyDogHateMeThoughtDoing
Men have been found to deny woman intellect; they have credited her with instinct, with intuition, with a capacity to correlate cause and effect much as a dog connects its collar with a walk.
W. L. George
DogWalkMenWomanIntuitionHer
The dog doesn't know the difference between Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I have to walk the dog early those days too.
Donna Shalala
DogWalkMondaySaturdayEarlyKnow
Of course, I'm not often the top dog, but sometimes it's better not to be top dog, because you last longer. If a movie or play flops, you always blame the lead. They say, 'He couldn't carry it.' They always blame him. But they rarely blame the second or third banana.
Charles Durning
DogBlameBetterYouPlaySometimes
People care about my personal life. But really I'm dorky! I drink beer and go to football games. And ya know, sit in my house in a t-shirt on the weekends and play with my dog!
Sophia Bush
LifeDogFootballBeerPeopleCare
I knew there was a story; once you find a dog with a fork through it, you know there's a story there.
Mark Haddon
DogStoryYouFindKnowThrough
I read that all dogs have wolf DNA in them, which seemed preposterous because my dog, Tucker, is... afraid of plastic bags blowing in the wind. I thought, 'How can Tucker have wolf in him? How can this be?' So I started researching it.
W. Bruce Cameron
DogWindThoughtWolfDNAPlastic
Court TV. I can't stop watching it. I am absolutely obsessed! If I'm not reading a book or spending time with my husband, my friends or my dog, I am watching Court TV.
Debra Messing
DogTimeI AmSpending TimeReading
Aggression is not a breed thing. It's a state of mind, and it comes from how the human is with the dog. There are four levels of energy, regardless of the breed: low, medium, high, very high. The idea is to get a dog in your same level or lower than you.
Cesar Millan
DogMindEnergyYouHumanHigh
One of my favorite workouts to do with my girlfriends is yoga. We are equally impatient with our yoga. We are those people who are sweating in the back, and we'll be in downward dog giggling and looking at each other. And I know what we're all thinking: What are we going to order for dinner afterward?
Summer Sanders
DogPeopleDinnerLookingThinking
If I loved a guy as much as I love my dog, the guy would be in serious trouble. Because I'm all over that dog, all the time.
Maria Sharapova
DogLoveTimeLovedTroubleSerious
Without a dog, I would have tassels on my throw pillows instead of little stubs of yarn that look like small worms. The pillows seem to function just fine without the tassels, so perhaps it isn't a problem.
DogSmallProblemLookWithoutSeem
You have to train a dog to think.
Donald McCaig
DogThinkYouTrain
Americans are very big about loving the dog first, so when you tell them you have to set rules and limitations, a lot of people believe it's going to hurt their feelings. They're actually looking for you to be the pack leader.
DogLeaderPeopleLookingBelieve
My thing is this: You've got to talk about politics because it's out there. But I try to respect the fact that even if you don't have my views, I still respect your view. I may dog your view, but I'll respect that you have that view. And it's OK to come back at me to defend your view.
Sinbad
DogRespectPoliticsMeViewYou
Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail.
Martin Luther
DogGoldenResurrectionLittleTail
I converse with my dog through ESP.
Taylor Caldwell
DogThroughConverse
My mother was really young when she had me, so she was a horrible cook, but we lived with my grandmother, who was fantastic. We eventually got our own place, and my mother started learning to cook. But it was also the '70s, so she was very experimental, and, well - thank God we had a dog.
Debi Mazar
DogLearningMotherGodMePlace
The dog is a reflection of your energy, of your behavior. You have to ask, 'What am I doing?' That's the right question to ask.
DogReflectionEnergyBehaviorDoing
I should get a dog. I would get a rescue dog. I like mutts; I don't care. I would probably get a three-legged dog no one else would want.
Simon Cowell
DogCareWantRescueGetWould
My dog has the intellectual capacity of a lime wedge, yet even he possesses an elaborate set of assumptions, based on his ability to control my behavior through a combination of slavish devotion and incessant howling.
Martha Beck
DogControlBehaviorAssumptions
Does not the gratitude of the dog put to shame any man who is ungrateful to his benefactors?
Saint Basil
DogGratitudeThankfulManShame
When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!
David Starr Jordan
DogPatriotismReligionMoonHe
If I decide I want to go canoeing, I've got a canoe. If I want to take my dog with me, nobody tells me I can't do it. If I want to go skinny dipping and wash my body, I can take my clothes off.
Burt Shavitz
DogMeClothesBodyI CanNobody
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