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Hari Kondabolu Quotes

I'm not a Republican, but I was one once - when I was 7 years old. Not my fault. The symbol of the Republican Party is an elephant, I'm a Hindu - I was confused.

Hari Kondabolu

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: October 21, 1982

Topics

Elephant Confused Party Republican

My father could have been deported because on his immigration application he said that he was a printer, obviously because he didn't want them to be checking his writings.

Joe Eszterhas

Father Immigration Said Want Been

I just need green. I need to wake up and see grass and squirrels. I don't want to see skyscrapers.

Andre Leon Talley

Green Wake Up Want Grass Need See

Without question, the material world and your everyday needs distract you from living meaningfully.

Menachem Mendel Schneerson

World You Living Everyday Question

It's too bad American electoral races aren't as transparent as NASCAR races.

Steve Bullock

American Bad Transparent NASCAR Too

I was born with this. It's a hereditary genetic condition. This is something you can go your whole life without really knowing that something's wrong. I had high blood pressure, and that was the first sign.

Steven Cojocaru

Life Pressure You Born Wrong Go

Money is like manure: if you don't spread it around, nothing grows.

Tom Douglas

Money You Nothing Spread Grows Like

There are over 170,000 pages of regulations in Washington, D.C. I want to streamline the rules in the federal government to basically allow businesses to grow without fear of burdensome federal regulations. That's a passion to me, regulatory reform.

Jason T. Smith

Fear Passion Government Me Grow

I hate light... I feel like at night, it's safer. If anything happens, there's a way to hide at night. Another thing I hate about light is it reminds me about being in a refugee camp and being outside.

Clemantine Wamariya

Light Hate Me Night Feel Hide

The real me now may not be thin but she's got the cake and, if she likes, can eat it too.

Arabella Weir

Cake Me Now She Real Eat

Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.

Thomas S. Monson

Daily Faith Living Anchor Confusion

Guantanamo is still open, but it's unlikely that serious torture is going on at Guantanamo. There is just too much inspection.

Noam Chomsky

Too Much Serious Open Torture Going

The most violent show on TV is the six o'clock news.

Mr. T

News Show Six Most Violent TV