Zach Galifianakis Quotes

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

Zach Galifianakis

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: actor
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: October 1, 1969

Topics

DayNightEvery DayDownGoThree

I love Australia, and I especially love those rugby players.

Jennifer Coolidge

LoveAustraliaRugbyPlayersThose

Did you know that the state is the proud owner of a condo complex in Conway? This budget adds a real estate manager position to assess what we own, and sell those properties that we don't need and shouldn't own.

John Lynch

Real EstateProudBudgetYouKnow

My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they're going to do for the next five or ten years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking.

Amy Winehouse

LifeAgeTimePeopleThinkingYears

I'm trying to unify us internally so that we can - instead of firing on each other - fire on the Democrats and communicate a message and start talking about issues.

Jason Chaffetz

FireStartTalkingTryingDemocrats

I have been wanting to do beauty for years and to pair with an international beauty company. It will solidify the image of Jason Wu as a world. All my shows have a distinctive hair and makeup look. It feels so natural for me; the woman who wears my clothes would have my makeup as part of her beauty regime.

Jason Wu

BeautyWomanMeHairWorldMakeup

My hair is God's aura. Everything went up when I got home from the penitentiary. One night I went to lie down next to my wife, and my hair started popping and uncurling all on its own - ping, ping, ping, ping! I knew that it was God telling me to stay on the righteous path so he could one day pull me up to be there with him.

Don King

HomeGodPathDayWifeLie

My favorite dish is brown rice with lentils, roasted red and yellow peppers, and fennel, with a sweet potato and a salad on the side.

Christie Brinkley

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I'm interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice.

Clint Eastwood

ManPrejudiceMoreSecureInterested

There are a lot of recent pics of me rocking silk strings of beads. They're made by survivors of the sex trade in Cambodia who were rescued by one of the organizations I support.

AnnaLynne McCord

SupportMeSexStringsTradeMade

There's no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

Ashton Kutcher

LoveLove IsSomeoneLovingTouch

A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.

Shigeru Miyamoto

GoodGameBadForeverEventually

I actually use Randy Orton as an example to my son because he wants to start training in January. My son is a big kid - he's 6'1", 205 - and I insist that he must watch and learn from Randy's style.

Rey Mysterio

SonJanuaryStyleTrainingStart

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