Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I'm disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That's a really gross metaphor.

Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: writer
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: November 28, 1986

Topics

LifeWorldMy LifeNowFirstJokes

I will not be a Democrat or a Republican. They are the problem, not the solution. We need to abolish political parties in this country.

Jesse Ventura

PoliticalProblemSolutionCountry

It was easy being healthy when I was young. I was full of energy, so sports and physical challenges were fun. But as I got older and the spring left my step, exercise became harder, and eating, drinking and watching TV became easier. By the time I was 50, I'd put on 50 pounds.

Robert Kiyosaki

SportsTimeFunStepSpringEnergy

This is a very screwed-up business. Record labels don't sign a lot of bands these days. We just want to find a home and stay there and make records and do our thing and not have to look over our shoulder.

Andy Taylor

HomeBusinessLookFindWantOver

There is a battle to be waged over what kind of country we are going to leave our children and grandchildren and that battle is happening now in Washington, not two years from now.

John Thune

ChildrenBattleGrandchildrenCountry

Antonio Inoki majored in strong style. He showed real emotion with real technique in the ring. Hard shots that look like hard shots. But the important steps is the real technique from the real martial arts. It means detail is important.

Shinsuke Nakamura

StyleDetailStrongLookImportant

As our economy advances, educational attainment is going to keep Arizona competitive.

Doug Ducey

EconomyCompetitiveKeepGoingOur

Writing a novel is a huge adventure; when it's going well it's more fun than fun. When it stutters to a halt put it aside. Go for a swim, go for a walk, take a week off. Don't panic or be afraid; you and your characters are in it together. Trust them to come to your rescue.

Deborah Moggach

TrustWalkTogetherAdventureFun

If have to undergo preschool safety checks every morning, why does a random thug get to own an assault rifle?

Christine Pelosi

MorningSafetyRandomWhyThugOwn

He was so gorgeous... Kurt. I don't know how I got lucky that way.

Courtney Love

KnowWayLuckyGorgeousGotHe

You want to teach the next generation so they can learn a little bit faster and a little bit more so everything becomes that much better.

Cobi Jones

GenerationBetterLearnYouWant

Many people in San Francisco know me, and they know my persistence.

Cindy Sheehan

PersistencePeopleMeKnowManySan

In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them.

Brooks Atkinson

GoodAgeTimePeopleThoughtOld

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