Whitney Cummings Quotes

I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the 'Comedy Central Roasts' for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write.

Whitney Cummings

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

WomenMenPeopleThinkComedyWrite

They told me that I had a leaky valve, which is something that is certainly not life-threatening. It's common and it's something that had I not known about it, would I have lived? Sure. But it's something that I think is important to know, especially as I get older and given that I have heart disease in my family.

Jennie Garth

FamilyHeartMeThinkKnowLived

Tax season always means a deluge of tax advice. Unfortunately, most of it is futile and lightweight.

Robert Kiyosaki

AdviceTaxAlwaysSeasonMostMeans

It's going to take each of us coming together to muster the strength to look in the mirror and ask, 'How can I help create a sustainable health care system for the 21st century?'

Matthew Heineman

StrengthHealthMirrorTogetherHelp

It was the '50s, and the card catalog and the Dewey Decimal System were in fashion. I hung out in the 812 section - American theater and plays. This is where I first read Arthur Miller's 'Death of a Salesman' and was transfixed. I remember staring into space for what seemed an eternity after reading Linda Loman's final speech.

Jeffrey Tambor

DeathSpaceFashionReadingAmerican

I say 'incantation' a lot, when what I really mean 'incarnation.' It's a programmed mistake.

Michael Carbonaro

MistakeSayMeanReallyIncarnation

And so we try to address those concerns in every way possible, recognizing, again, in the final analysis, everybody on that flight wants to be assured with the highest level of confidence that everybody else on that flight has been properly screened, and including me and you and everybody.

John Pistole

ConfidenceMeYouWayPossibleTry

Shiva danced the world into existence... that's a very nice thought.

Michael Tippett

WorldThoughtNiceExistenceVery

There is no substitute for American leadership and exceptionalism.

Michael T. Flynn

LeadershipAmericanSubstitute

One cannot wage war under present conditions without the support of public opinion, which is tremendously molded by the press and other forms of propaganda.

Douglas MacArthur

WarSupportOpinionPresentWithout

I don't ever want to become Bill Maher where I have to find some strong opinion on something just because it's in the news. That's the guy that comes off like you have to be angry every week about new topics and snotty about something. That's what I'm trying to avoid.

Doug Stanhope

AngryOpinionStrongWeekYouFind

In a way I guess I'd be a bad judge of what it was like because it just seemed perfectly normal to me.

Susan Olsen

MeJudgeBadWayNormalJust

Unfortunately, too many public school officials believe that cameras are needed to enforce order and discipline.

Paul Weyrich

DisciplineSchoolBelieveOrderMany

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