Alan King Quotes

When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.

Alan King

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: comedian
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: December 26, 1927 - May 9, 2004

Topics

MorningMeAppleSaidRunHospital

That said, there are certainly still cooks out there who make fantastic historical cornbreads, though the old recipes have often been changed to include modern techniques and ingredients.

Jeremy Jackson

SaidOldOutIngredientsHistorical

Our most famous writers are Faulkner and Eudora Welty and Flannery O'Connor. It would make sense that the poetry would reflect some of those same values, some of the same techniques.

Robert Morgan

PoetryFamousValuesSameReflect

Much as you would like, you are not going to change people who feel it's part of their religious commitment to 'save' you.

Jeanne Phillips

GodPeopleBelieveWantI Believe

Liberal censors are the worst. I don't remember any trouble with 'Serial Mom' or 'Cecil B. Demented' or any of them. Except 'Cry Baby.'

John Waters

BabyMomRememberTroubleCryWorst

So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.

John Steinbeck

CoffeeBreakfastPrideSaladBig

When you are truly you and share who you are with the world and be confident in who you are, it doesn't matter what size you are. It doesn't matter what your different body parts look like.

Amy Purdy

WorldConfidentYouBodyLookSize

St. Lucia in South Africa is this exotic place where you might go on vacation, and it evokes this nostalgic, hazy vibe.

St. Lucia

VacationYouPlaceGoAfricaWhere

You just watch somebody you love slowly, slowly disappear and go away.

Michael Reagan

LoveYouGoWatchDisappearJust

Dishonesty is Trump's hallmark: He claimed that he had spoken clearly and boldly against going into Iraq. Wrong. He spoke in favor of invading Iraq. He said he saw thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11. Wrong. He saw no such thing. He imagined it.

Mitt Romney

WrongNewSaidDishonestyClearly

You have to learn to balance work, family, a personal life; it is a part of life.

Juanes

LifeWorkFamilyBalanceLearnYou

I'd rather proliferate funny little rumors than not.

Autre Ne Veut

FunnyRumorsLittleRatherThan

My goal would be to find a big, fat subject that would occupy me to the end of my life, and when I finish it, I'll die. What's agony is starting; I hate starting them. I just want to keep writing now and end when it ends.

Philip Roth

LifeHateMeWritingEndFat

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