David Letterman Quotes

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

David Letterman

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

GoodBadGood NewsNewsNowSay

I'm in the reporting part of journalism.

Jim Lehrer

JournalismReportingPart

I'm always thinking about future projects and at the same time trying to finish the project you're in the middle off.

Jerry Lewis

FutureTimeThinkingTryingYou

I feel like I've got the best job in the world. I just feel so fortunate to get paid to be a kid and play with my friends. So if it's rough or a little bit hot, you just have to deal with that.

Joel Kinnaman

BestJobWorldFeelFriendsYou

Films don't always tell a story; some films can achieve effect just by being razzle-dazzle or rock n' roll. That's part of the fare that's out there. And that's okay. For me, I place more value on a story.

Robert Redford

ValueMeStoryPlaceAchieveRock

Nobody is going to come into Alabama to buy lottery tickets. The only people that are going to buy them here are those that live here, and that's just a certain percentage of people.

Robert J. Bentley

LivePeopleNobodyLotteryAlabama

There's two people I would say to try to go and watch who are probably the future of tennis. One girl called Taylor Townsend, she got a wildcard from the event into Wimbledon; she's an American girl. On the men's side, there's an Australian guy called Nick Kyrgios; he's 19, and he was the number one junior in the world.

Andy Murray

FutureGirlMenPeopleWorldGo

I don't think that anybody in any war thinks of themselves as a hero. The minute anybody presumes that they are heroes, they get their boots taken away from them and buried in the sand.

Steven Spielberg

HeroWarThinkBootsSandHeroes

It's always interesting to challenge yourself to say, 'Is this the best you can do?'

Mike White

ChallengeBestYourselfInteresting

Unlike other professions - doctor, lawyer, teacher, journalist, sales clerk, stock broker - when a cop makes a bad mistake, it could mean someone is dead. They take home mental baggage unlike anything carried in almost every other job.

Mike Barnicle

HomeTeacherJobMistakeDoctorBad

Growing up, I was poor. In college, I was poor. I never had anything.

Jon Jones

CollegeGrowing UpGrowingPoorUp

I'm someone that needs to talk about my problems. I call my mom every single day at school just to vent about random stuff. Singing is the same thing.

Clairo

DaySchoolMomRandomSingingTalk

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

Thomas Sowell

FunnyKnowledgeIgnoranceRealize

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