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Henny Youngman Quotes

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: March 16, 1906 - February 24, 1998

Topics

Car Man Gift Know Trash Pay

I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful.

Work Funny Sad Time Humor Smart

I'm a pretty happy camper. Look a little more like Paul Newman, maybe. Haha.

Happy Look More Little Pretty Like

In 'The Sopranos,' these guys know their best years are behind them. They have nostalgia for their old traditions. In their minds, they're looking for a time when loyalty mattered, community mattered. E Street is about community, too. People are looking for something real.

Steven Van Zandt

Community Loyalty Time Best People

'Hee Haw' was a concept that nobody (including myself) thought would ever succeed.

Myself Succeed Thought Nobody Would

I'm the chairman of the intelligence committee. We don't only get formal briefings, but we collect our information from the intelligence community in a variety of ways.

Community Intelligence Information

I always hope people will like me, and I'm always afraid they will think I'm a fraud. I try harder than perhaps I should to make people like me, then it backfires. They think I'm a buffoon.

Hope People Me Think Try Fraud

Other famous men, those of much talk and few deeds, soon evaporate. Action is the dignity of greatness.

Men Greatness Action Famous Dignity

I have connected by phone with customers who have left negative reviews and had a chance to get to know them. Not only was I able to solve their problems, a lot of the customers were so happy with the customer service that they become repeat customers.

Chris Gronkowski

Service Happy Chance Negative Phone

I would love to do a movie with Albert Brooks; we're so different, but I find him so funny, and I can be just as seemingly narcissistic as he comes off, the 'it's all about me' kind of thing.

Funny Love Me Find I Can Kind

Anybody can reach anywhere from five to 15 million people weekly making a president look like an idiot, as I did back then, or Tina Fey did with Sarah Palin... You're always preaching to the choir one way or the other.

People Reach Idiot You Look Back

No woman wants to have fat ankles.

Christian Louboutin

Woman Fat Wants Ankles

No matter how full a reservoir of maxims one may possess, and no matter how good one's sentiments may be, if one has not taken advantage of every concrete opportunity to act, one's character may remain entirely unaffected for the better.

Good Character Opportunity Better

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