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Henny Youngman Quotes

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: March 16, 1906 - February 24, 1998

Topics

Medical Me Doctor Quit Places Two

I knew in my heart that I wasn't cool, but I figured I could at least be cool by association.

Heart Cool Association Knew Least

I worked on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange back when they used to write tickets. And I was just a runner. So a guy would write a ticket and I would run it, and it was endless. That was a hard job. And I dug tungsten... for a coal company in Wyoming one summer, and that was pretty miserable.

John C. McGinley

Job New York Back Summer New Run

For me, baseball just brings up a lot of nostalgic, happy feelings because I enjoyed it as a kid, and I liked being out there playing in the sun, and it was a simpler time for all of us.

Time Baseball Happy Sun Me Feelings

I'm one of those people who lies awake all night and worries about all the horrible things that can go wrong, whether a comma was wrong.

Michael Beschloss

People Night Wrong Go Horrible Lies

There's no doubt that the squad needs strengthening if we are to get back up among the top three because they are operating on another level to us at the moment.

Moment Doubt Back Three Squad Top

For as spiritual as some people think my books are, I've never really dealt with religious things.

Spiritual People Think Never Dealt

The FSB's invisible presence continued; the agency became an intangible part of my Moscow life - sometimes loudly, sometimes quietly, with someone in a back room clearly turning the volume of minor persecution up and down.

Life Someone Back Down Sometimes

I think basically becoming famous has taken the place of going to Heaven in modern society, hasn't it? That's the place where your dreams will come true. It's an act of faith now; they think that's going to sort things out.

Dreams Faith Your Dreams Society Now

A guy who's actually self destructive is quite fun to play.

Fun Self Play Guy Destructive Quite

I am reaching a point in my life where the basketball chapter in my life is slowly closing from a competition standpoint.

Alonzo Mourning

Life Competition I Am Basketball

The job of the iPad should be to be so powerful and capable that you never need a notebook.

Job You Powerful Never Need Capable

I'm so lucky, I'm just really grateful for what I've got around me - children and my wife and everything else.

Children Grateful Wife Me Lucky Got

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