Chelsea Handler Quotes

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

Chelsea Handler

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

PeopleMeThinkWeddingFriendsYou

As much as I very much want audiences to watch FX's carefully curated and highly contextualized television shows, I'm now glad when anyone takes the time to watch even our competition's television series, as long as it demands their sustained attention and challenges their knee-jerk perceptions.

John Landgraf

TimeCompetitionChallengesAttention

Romantically, in my head, I'm Rambo, but if someone's shouting at me, I get adrenalin shakes and go red. When I'm really low, I have a good cry.

Russell Tovey

GoodRedMeSomeoneGoCry

If children are not introduced to music at an early age, I believe something fundamental is actually being taken from them.

Luciano Pavarotti

MusicAgeChildrenBelieveEarly

I believe that international support through critical funds, together with the determination of my compatriots, Malawi can be a model country for meeting global health targets and get on with the business of African-driven global economic growth.

Joyce Banda

GrowthBusinessDeterminationHealth

There's not a lot of pictorial evidence from the Highlands, because only the very wealthy had their portraits painted - but there is one well-known painting of the two sons of the Duke of Argyll, wearing tartan.

Diana Gabaldon

PaintingTwoEvidenceBecauseOnly

You worry about whether you are match-fit, coming back to the stand-up stage.

Deirdre O'Kane

WorryYouBackStageComingAbout

Once upon a time, I liked to call myself 'The Grandfather of NXT' because I was one of the first to come up as I was, from NXT.

Bray Wyatt

TimeMyselfGrandfatherFirstUp

Most families are dysfunctional.

Art Malik

DysfunctionalMostFamilies

You can't legislate into existence an act of forgiveness and a true confession; those are mysteries of the human heart, and they occur between one individual and another individual, not a panel of judges sitting asking questions, trying to test your truth.

Athol Fugard

ForgivenessTruthHeartQuestions

The last thing family and friends want is for you to spend money on them that you don't have or that you can't really spare.

Suze Orman

FamilyMoneyFriendsYouWantLast

NATO isn't going to be concerned about fishing.

Paul Watson

FishingGoingNATOConcernedAbout

If you look back through history, you'll see that God, in any form - Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed - has always wanted prosperity for everyone. There was a recognition of the need to integrate our material and spiritual lives. But that message was distorted by various leaders with their own agendas.

Paul Zane Pilzer

GodHistorySpiritualYouLookBack

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