David Sedaris Quotes

People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, 'Have you ever considered dental implants?'

David Sedaris

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: writer
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: December 26, 1956

Topics

PeopleMeSomeoneDoingYouAsk

Nobody, not even the head coach, would do anything to the football unilaterally, such as adjust the amount of pressure in a ball, without the quarterback not knowing. It would have to be the quarterback's idea.

John Madden

FootballPressureNot KnowingNobody

One of the first comic things you do is imitate.

Robert Mankoff

YouFirstThingsImitateComic

In other words, musicians know that going back to the Spoonful, what we were doing was not copying.

John Sebastian

WordsMusiciansDoingBackKnow

A concerted effort to preserve our heritage is a vital link to our cultural, educational, aesthetic, inspirational, and economic legacies - all of the things that quite literally make us who we are.

Steve Berry

InspirationalEffortAestheticThings

I cannot and will not raise money on Benghazi. I also advise my colleagues to follow suit.

Trey Gowdy

MoneyColleaguesWillFollowSuit

Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by barbed wire, it wafts across the electrified borders.

Ronald Reagan

AgeWallsInformationBordersModern

I was the first Blunt ever elected to anything.

Roy Blunt

FirstAnythingBluntEverElected

People want to share photos with only their friends and loved ones.

Mike Krieger

PeopleLovedFriendsWantShare

Rule number one in negotiating anything with Missy is never try and run me over. Never push me, because I am a very strong woman. I'm nice, but I'm very strong. When it gets down gritty, I can get grittier. Never, ever underestimate me.

Missy Elliott

WomanI AmMeStrongPushDown

It's time that Americans dealt seriously with guns, getting in place strong and appropriate measures - there is no excuse for anything but the strictest controls.

Jay Parini

TimeStrongPlaceSeriouslyAnything

I've always found it best to have a routine. I go to my study at the same time every day and climb into my bay window. I may not be inspired every day, but on the days I am, I need to be in place to write. If I'm not particularly inspired, I'll revise or do research or correspondence.

Diane Ackerman

TimeBestDayI AmResearchClimb

My action follows my characters. If a character is a cop, you cannot be posing all the time, you cannot fly off the roof because it doesn't make any sense - it's not practical.

Donnie Yen

CharacterTimeFlyActionPosing

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