Demetri Martin Quotes

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.

Demetri Martin

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

BirthdayHappyYearEarlyWrongSee

As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.

Jen Lancaster

MeBookPoliticalSaidNothing

I don't do a lot of dating. I guess it's kind of like everyone is always trying to set me up with somebody, so we go out and hang out at a club or somewhere. I think dates are weird.

Matt Cohen

DatingMeThinkWeirdTryingKind

Republicans in Hollywood hide. I'm challenging them to stand up and have courage. I won't be scared into submission.

Stacey Dash

CourageStand UpStandHideScared

I don't do storyboarding, ever; I'm not interested in that.

Steven Rodney McQueen

Not InterestedInterestedEver

I don't like to criticise referees because I believe it is a very complicated job, and what they do is very beneficial for football.

David Villa

FootballJobBelieveComplicated

I think that sometimes when they see me in a movie they expect me to be something nasty. I mean, I play a lot of villains and you show up and they think maybe... That's why it's good to defy expectations sometimes.

Christopher Walken

GoodMeExpectationsThinkYouPlay

India has in fact raced ahead, in ways that are more dazzling and more confusing than America is.

Clark Blaise

AmericaIndiaAheadMoreConfusing

The destiny of our society is yours to make and you have a vastly greater importance to the world than we do.

Polykarp Kusch

WorldSocietyDestinyYouGreater

Consumers, unlike voters, expect an immediate response to their concerns; and companies, unlike governments, do not have the luxury of a mid-term lull.

Noreena Hertz

LuxuryExpectResponseConsumers

Fear just crushes creativity, and if I let fear into the studio and into the songwriting, I was going to let it kill the artist inside of me.

Mark Foster

FearCreativityMeArtistInside

Some of us have become so addicted to pointing fingers at others for all the wrong that happens in our lives that self-assessment has become synonymous with blaming the victim.

LZ Granderson

WrongBecomeOthersVictimUsSome

I love character actors. If I'm switching channels, and something with Slim Pickens is on, or Walter Brennan, I'm stuck. I have to watch it.

Les Claypool

LoveCharacterSomethingChannels

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